yep….

It’s 1:40am and I have 100 things going through my head.  These pain killers are making sleepy but my diabetes is giving me the shakes.  I screwed up tonight by having pancakes for dinner and a piece of lemon pie for dessert.

I have started to do my videos again like I used to.  It’s easier for me to talk in front of the camera and just let my mouth run then to sit here and let my fingers type.  I’m not sure if that makes sense…i’m starting to fall into lala land.

I watched the republican debate tonight and everyone is so full of hot air, it’s ridiculous.  I’m leaning towards Trump (yes, i’ve caught hell for that one), Rubio and Sanders.  Trump didn’t debate tonight, instead he held a rally for veterans while raising money for us.  He raised $6 million, which is awesome.  I laugh when i see Jeb Bush. I think America is tired of the Bush’s and it shows in the polls.  Ted Cruz looks like the kind of guy who would watch you eat a grape at the grocery store and not say shit till you, but would run to management to get you in trouble.  I can’t look at Ben Carson without thinking of SNL.

I had two of my teeth pulled 2 weeks ago and one of them became infected.  Pissed me off because last week i went in with pain and the dentist said it looked good.  Then on Monday it felt like i got punched so i went in and he said yeah, you have an infection.  No shit sherlock.

Can’t wait to go to Texas in a few months.  Seeing some old military friends is going to be awesome. I’m hoping that my wifey likes it out there.  Hell, its Texas, what’s there not to like?  My boy is the kennel master at Lackland so he’s going to escort us on the base.  Im so excited to show my wife where i stayed for basic and tech school.

I plan on doing a video in a day or two which is going to be in all out bitch fest.  Should be fun.

Goodnight.

ps… follow me on twitter @cpt.serious19

Random things on my mind…

 

Kids today will never know the following things…

The scary sound of the National Anthem being played at midnight when stations would conclude their broadcasting for the day.

Hearing Harry Carey mispronounce damn near everyone’s name.

Pouring a box of your favorite cereal and sitting in front ofthe tv to watch Saturday morning cartoons.  (Or in my case, having to eat nasty ass rice crispy’s) You could turn on ABC and be set for four hours of awesomeness. There is something about hearing ABC’s bumper that is nostalgic.   

Of course, if you were lucky enough to have cable, you could watch the Cartoon Express.

Kids today will never know the feeling of having to get up to change the channel on the cable box, sit down, and having to get up to change the channel again, because their parent doesn’t want to get off the couch.

Knowing that when you see this on HBO, it was about to go down.

Feeling the sting of a big rubber ball against your face because you were too slow to move during dodge ball or smear the queer.  Come to think about it, smear the queer probably wasn’t the most appropriate name.

We had one WGN and it played all the Cubs game.  And rest easy knowing that Kevin Sorbo is Hercules.

Running to answer the phone, only for the caller to have hung up and you have no clue who just called since there was no caller ID.

Being on a time limit while on the world wide web.  And hearing this beautiful sound.

And then hearing someone yell “i’m trying to use the phone, get off”

Playing outside without having to worry about getting shot or kidnapped.

Actually being scared of parent teacher conferences.  Knowing that you’ll probably get an ass whoopin when you get home.  Or in my case, get that whoopin right there in school.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.  (now these little shits need a “safe zone” to be free of hurtful words. lol Ridiculous.)

Buying a pack of cigs for your mom.

Going through airport security without getting felt up.

Making friends with the kids in the neighborhood by actually going outside, not sending a friends request.

Getting picked for the Grand Prize Game.

Hiding under a blanket so your parents don’t have to pay for you at the drive in.

Blowing into a NES cartridge.

Not being medicated for every little thing.

Sticking a pencil in a tape to rewind or fast forward.  Or…to just see how fast you can do it, till it flies off the pencil.

Going to school with 3 feet of snow or 100 degrees out.

Just being a kid and not having to worry about all of society’s problems.

 

 

Ground control to Major Tom

As I was laying in bed late last night/ early this morning, I did my pre sleep ritual of scanning the internet one last time.  I saw that my friend put a quote up by David Bowie, which i thought was kind of unusual being that she’s never quoted Bowie or anyone really for that matter.  Then, as I opened Twitter, I saw the news.  Bowie was gone.  I layed there, honestly, with tears in my eyes.  I have gotten teary eyed only one other time for an artist, and that was Michael Jackson.

I don’t make it a habit of feeling emotional with an artist/actor passes because really there is no connection. You see this person on tv but that’s it.  You could die today and Im sure they wouldn’t shed a tear over you.  Unlike other artist though Bowie, was different.  He didn’t have his business out there like stars of today.  I’m sure if you asked 100 people if they knew that he had cancer, 95 of them would say no.

How, in the days of  the internet where someone can’t shit unless someone knows about it, was he able to keep this illness a secret?  I think that’s what i respect most about him to the end, he didn’t want that publicity or the sorrows of being ill.  I would think he didn’t want to be remembered as the great artist who died from cancer, but the great artist who made you dance and made you sing along to every one of his songs.

The awesome thing about David’s music is that it brought people together from all races and ages.  One thing I will always remember is when I sang “Magic Dance” with one of my 11 year old students.  I was like how the heck do you know that song?  He said that his dad loves David Bowie and that he listens to him too. I would like to think that that is what he would have wanted, to bring people together through music.

The music that he blessed us with always told a story. From Space Oddity, to Changes, to Ziggy Stardust, to Under Pressure to Little Drummer Boy with Bing Crosby.  Talk about opposites attract..Bowie and Crosby, how in the world could that work, but it did.

Just as Tupac’s last video “I ain’t mad at Cha”foretold his death,  if you watch David’s last video, Lazarus, I think you will notice that he knew death was coming soon.  As for myself, Bowie is not Ziggy Stardust as he might be to my parents, but rather Jareth the Goblin King from Labyrinth. His acting and his voice brought that character to life.  That’s why the tears formed in my eyes last, because another piece of my childhood died with Bowie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1/7/2016

Today’s not a good day.  Nothing bad per say, just have a lot of shit going through my mind.  I just turned in my papers for the VA to fill out and that’s probably going to take a while to get back because the VA is slow as hell.

It’s frustrating when you apply for a job, don’t hear anything, then see a week later that the job was reposted on job sites. I think I’m just tired of being here.  My family is here but I don’t want to be.  My wife and I are supposed to be going to Austin in April and I already told her that maybe I’ll go up there a few weeks early and go job hunting.  I talked to my dad about going somewhere else to look for a job and he said I should do what i need to do.

When i left this shit hole midwest back in 99, it was hard to leave my family, but I joined the Air Force and it wasn’t like i was just going somewhere with no job.

I just spoke to one of my good friends last night about stuff.  I’ve known this guy since we were in the 5th grade, so I take his words to heart.  I told him that I feel like I haven’t accomplished shit.  I’m 36 and don’t have anything to show for it.  Yeah Im married, but that’s it.  No house, no kids, I bounce from job to job.  I hate it. He said be glad you don’t have kids you have to worry about at least.  I said that’s true, but if i did have kids, would that have put me in a different place today.  What i mean is that I would have to do whatever it takes to clothe and feed my kids.    I probably wouldn’t have been so quick to bounce between jobs.

This isn’t sour grapes.  I know I can’t go back in time, it just sucks when the time you wasted is longer than the time you have in front of you.  I think about those that go out and rob banks or rob people.  Like really, how many of them wanted to do that just to be a dick, vs those that did it because they ran out of options?

This leads me to religion.  I don’t want to say God or Jesus because this applies to all religions.  How long can you go asking for help or asking for something good, till you finally give up on the prayers?  Personally, I pray to Jesus.  Some would ask why I don’t pray to God? I don’t believe in God. I do believe in Jesus though.  I don’t believe that he walked on water or turned water into wine or any of that nonsense.  I believe that Jesus was a man at one time who did perform miracles, just not the type that i listed above.  When i say miracles, I mean that he helped people more than others did.  It’s kind of funny when  speak to people about religion.  How can you believe in Jesus but not believe in God, church or the bible? I believe in science.  When a person is killed by a drunk driver, who do you blame, the drunk or God?  The drunk right?  So why is it that when a doctor saves a heart attack victim, you hear “god is good” “god works miracles”.  God didn’t do shit, that doctor did.  The doctor is the one who should be getting praised.